lindsey gabels pregnant.

and i just gave a presentation. i didnt look at my note cards once. and i talked so much!

its the best feeling in the world.

You smell like poop.

I am so in love.

bahhhhahahahaa

I spent my entire day at bored.com. hah. now im sitting here wide awake. its midnight. theres nothing to do. i dont want to go to sleep. the breeze from my window feels so nice. i want james to call me. he is eating ice cream at rams horn. previa just came in here and got some stuff. i hope she is gone for the night. i have the longest periods ever. and ive had a bad stomach ache today, it wont stop gurgling. the people here at svsu are so noisy. they were chanting something for a good five minutes a little bit ago. i couldnt make out what it was. our air conditioner isnt an air conditioner any more. it has turned into a heater. someone was just knocking on the door. im not getting up to answer it. i know they are not here for me. im angry that i have to pay another parking ticket. and im even angrier they send a letter to my house. people are constantly running up and down the hall way. it gets annoying. i probably wouldnt be so annoyed by everyone if i had someone here to hang out with too. this whole being lonely away at college thing is starting to get to me. i feel like im living under a rock. the only time i enjoy myself is when im with james. i couldnt tell you the last time i ran around and had fun with friends. im just talking. theres no need to pay any attention to this. its just my period making me irritable. the kind of weather we have now is the kind of weather that makes me miss cool breeze. sitting in there with maybe one customer a night. but i was able to read lots of books. and have all the hot chocolate and ice cream i wanted. a funnel cake sounds amazing right now.. with cherry topping.. MmmMmMMm! someone is outside talking like a hillbilly. maybe i shouldnt say that. he could actually be a hillbilly. my grandfather just signed off of AIM and it chirped like a bird. my heart is racing. it starttled me. i think its silly grandpa has a screenname. so does grandma helen. i talk to her sometimes on it. its silly. she makes me laugh. i want her to make me an apple pie. and i want grandma chizmadia to make her potatoe soup. ahh i love the fall. i just watched buffalo 66. vincent gallo is beautiful. i was trying to find the brown bunny online but i could not find it. and then i tried to watch the wristcutters movie but it was removed from this stupid blogging site. thanks blogger. im so hungry. i have so little money. its sad. i think this is the longest journal entry ever posted by me. i have had an apple every day this week. i think thats more apples than i have ever had in my life. i was mad when amy told me she had presents for me and all i got was a bag full of apples. i dont know why i was mad tho. i thank her now. the apples were very tastey. im still not tired. and i have been sitting here typing for ten minutes. wow. i want to rearrange this room. but theres no way to do it. it makes me angry. i wish i were living in the appartments that they have for the people who are not freshman. but i guess that wouldnt work out very well because well, i am a freshman. and i do not believe i am coming here next year so i will never be living in one. i would like to move out of my house tho. i dont see that happening anytime soon however. i have no money. but if i stay at home next year i know i will go crazy living in my house. i want mexican food real bad right now. i also just want to spend all my time with james. there is no reason not to be happy while i am around him. i miss so many things right now and i could go on and on and on talking about them. i think my exepectations for saginaw were way too high. at least for the people i would be meeting here. the classes are wonderful. people are not very friendly. i want more pillows for my bed. i also wish i did not have to share everything with someone that makes me so uncomfortable. i would rather be alone in this room. my period makes me soo sad. apparently if there is a bird in your house it means there was a death. that sad. ive had birds in my house, however i dont think it counts. they were pet birds not wild birds. i remember going over to my grandma and grandpas... my mommas dad and his wifes.. and they had soo many birds. and they would let them run wild. fly wild i should say. and every time you walked into their house the bords would swoop down at you. it always scared the shit out of me. i also remember one time while they werre here visiting from florida. and they were staying at the red roof in. who knows what they were on but while we were there visiting them they had us run around and around and around the balcony of the building. and they never got tired. they are living very sad lives. it makes me sad thinking about them. they had the funnest dogs tho. i dont remember their names. but they were so small and friendly. they were the kind of dogs you would think a grandma and grandpa would have. its 12:25 and im still not tired. i need something new to do. i would read wicked but i have a headache and it never seams to go away. i want a surprise. from someone. any one. that would make me the happiest. what i would really like would be a letter in my mail box the next time i go and open it. i get so sad everytime i open it and its empty. i have not talked to my momma since well i was home on sunday. no i lied. i called her two days ago to say hi and she was quiet and didnt say a word so i hung up with her. i dont understand her sometimes. it makes me so angry. i talked to my little brother thought. hes down to seventeen minutes and something on his races. thats awesome and i am so proud of him. im excited to come home in a few weeks to see him run. i havent talked to my father since sunday either. i feel bad for him. andrews always making him angry. as if he doesnt have enough things to worry about right now. i wish i could get tired so i could lay down and go to sleep. tomorrow is going to be the longest day. i have absolutely nothing to do. and i cleaned the room today so there will be no cleaning. i suppose i could lay down and try and fall asleep. i think ive written enough. thank you period.

...

i hate you eczema. :[

itd be real nice

if i were able to scream right now.

The google page

says its time for fall!
and i couldnt be more happy :]
I get to work at the ice cream shop this weekend!
and im reading again!
and i suck at my DS
but i still love it!

I have a pimple inside of my ear.
I dreamt last night that we moved back to our old house
but it was way better than before!


Babehoney i love you.
My nose is full of boogers.

Mmm..

free pizza tonight.

:D

im so grossed out
i hate you stupid cat
and i hate you stupid ringworm
im sooo itchyyy


i had a wonderful weekend with my beautiful stinkpoop
and he just left me
im sad

but its okay because im gonna walk on over to my kitchen and made some noodle salad
and everythings gonna be all right. :]

I want some cheetos.

its late,
i cant sleep,
im on my period,
and im lonely.

...

it really sucks being here all alone...

i have to go back to school tomorrow

and tonight i am spending the night with my favorite person. :D

im so happy to be home.

I want this weekend to last as long as possible.

:D

i go home tomorrow!

<3

i sat by the fountainn to today
for over an hour just watching eveyone
walking by, and i realized a lot of things
..nothing worth sharing

i also had my first class
and i wrote my first paper
it made me real happy

Maybe this isnt gonna be so bad after all...

drinkin tea
making stuff
the formats singing to me
im pretty content.



i cant wait to see you love.

Im at Saginaw..

my first night here
i got stung by a bee.

i am updating

in the nude..

i have three days left...

I went to the DIA and science museum yesturday with james.
He also showed me the Hotel Yorba, and the bookstore.
the bookstore downtown is probably the most amazing
place i have ever been, and yesturday was such a good day,
although just about everyday spent with him is.


<3

Mmm..

Kitty has ring worm
and its contageous.
She also has a cold, poor thing.

i got to go to work with James today and I had a wonderful time
i really wish we could have went to metro
and i want it to be saturday more than anything


i have six days left and im not gonna lie
im shedding a tear or two this very moment...

I'm so happy.

i just had a really good day with the most beautiful boy <3
such a wonderful feeling.

Yesturday..

was my last day
at the icecream stand
until christmas time
and amylaird corinne and i
got our ice cream cones
it was wonderful

i leave for saginaw next thursday
im not ready to go...

Yesturday..

I fed a giraffe
at the zoo
and forgot
my wallet
and swam
and probably
had the best
day ever.

I just got my own laptop!

aand thats all i have to say.

:]

we got a kitty!

i spent 300 dollars yesturday at Ikea,
im so ready to move in to saginaw.

so i tried to go to the track today and run
but when i got there it was covered in ice and snow
i cried the whole walk home

happy birthday amy.

i bought my very first lottery ticket
and i won five dollars
they didnt even check for ID

I havnt slept so good in a long time, thank you.

last night didnt go as planned
we went to the winterfest
and then to griffins show
i was a little uncomfortable
for obvious reasons
it took amy a good thirty minutes to notice me in the back seat
i scared the shit out of her
but she loved her heelys
and i think she was happy i was there
so im glad


i wish things didnt have to be so dificult
you are so beautiful.

I need a friend.

so steven and i are taking amy downtown tonight for her birthday
she doesnt know i am going
we bought her heelys

i hope all goes well

Maybe its a good thing that your back, at least for just a little while.

i havent talked to a single person today..
and its tenthirtypm.


people need to start looking at the good in things; seriously.

Hello me, are you in there?

I feel like i dont even know who i am any more.

Im sick of getting screwed over by everyone.
I find all my comfort in food.
Well, that and my DS of coarse.



On a brighter note i bought eternal sunshine and pleasentville today and i covered my yellow wall with the bingo boards, it made me rather happy. I also had a wonderful night with my red heads, steven, chad, chicken, and bingo.

oh goodness..

somebody please shave all my hair off.

:[

the invisible man who's always changing clothes..

i dont want to go back to school tomorrow.
my best friends threw me a surprise party for my birthday<3,>

amy and chad took me to noodles &co tonight, it was delicious

im getting my hair cut tomorrow and mother wants me to get highlights
i dont think i want to..

tonight i will be spending the night with elliott smith

<33

Deep rivers run quiet.

I don't think i have been this happy in a long time; lets keep it this way.

:]

What a beautiful day.

ive almost got all of my christmas shopping done and i just made the greatest tshirt.
this friday is going to be fun


im going to read

ABU

i worked for nine hours yesturday
and i worked til about ten oclocktonight

im at the mall way too much


i really want to find these tennis shoes
and im excited to decorate the angelstand for christmas

1984 is a good book.

mother mae me noodle salad
im happy

iwanttoseethisbeautifulboyy

my house smells like christmas

one hundred and fifty dollars, out of my pay check, fuck that.

just a few thoughts..

Important memories, not-so-important memories, totally useless memories: theres no distiction---they're all just fuel.


i got scammed at work last night, of coarse that sort of thing would happen to me. i really need to get myself a television. ive read four books in the past week, and the library needs to rethink their hours. i love how everyone likes to take advantage of me, in all sorts of situations.


i cant wait for winter to be over with

<3

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir,
once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."

" I dont want to start thinking again. Not like i have this last week. I cant think again. Not ever again. I dont know if youve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but i want it when i get like this. Thats why im trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."

hmph.

uhm.